On April 30, 2017 my Mom had a stroke that left her with permanent side effects. While attending one of her rehabilitation sessions, I asked her therapist when my Mom would be “normal” again. She explained to me that my Mom’s brain was like a bridge that had been broken. She went on to say that once a “bridge” is broken, it can never be repaired, but that “detours” can be made to compensate for the damage. Essentially, detours create a way around the brokenness and act as a new bridge.

Over the last 18 months, my siblings and I have been trying to help her find the detour and are learning how to love and care for our “same, but different” Mom.

As I have reflected on her stroke and the impact it’s had on my Mom, I’ve thought about life and how the trials we face can be bridge breakers. Our broken bridge may be a divorce, a difficult relationship, the death of a loved one, declining health, an accident, the loss of a job, mental illness, abuse, betrayal or any other kind of trial we may face.

In John 16:33, Jesus tells us, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” This verse tells us that while we are guaranteed to experience “broken bridges,” God will provide detours that lead to restoration. Things will never be as they once were, but we must choose to move forward, to take the detour, rather than staying stuck in our brokenness. You can often find me singing or humming the song, “God will make a way when there seems to be no way.”

Click to Listen to “God Will Make a Way”

He “makes a way when there seems to be no way” through His Word and the gift of friends who walk alongside us as we navigate our detour. The people in our life can serve as bridge builders.

I love the story found in Exodus 17:9-12, Moses said to Joshua, “Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands.” So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset.

 …Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. Moses needed help. In order to fulfill God’s plan for his life, Moses needed people to come alongside of him and hold him up. Literally.

It’s okay to need others, ask for counsel, and seek wisdom. There are times when our pride makes us unwilling to be vulnerable. We pretend we have it all together. We build a wall. It’s time to get real. The pain is real. The hurt is real. Consequences are real.

When I was in my mid-thirties, I navigated an extremely difficult season. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I later learned I was suffering from depression. It was a combination of past traumatic experiences, my struggling marriage, three small children, finances, and work responsibilities. It all came crashing down. During that season, getting out of bed was hard. Putting one foot in front of the other was difficult. Every day looked the same….dark, dreary and lonely.

To this day, I am so grateful a friend recognized something was wrong and stepped in. He and his wife gifted me with a weekend away. It was generous and kind. That weekend didn’t make me better, but it made me want to get better. Their gift communicated value and love to me and was a catalyst for my journey back to life. As I began the road to wholeness I had friends, who like Hur and Aaron, held me up when I didn’t have the strength to stand on my own. I had friends who served as bridge builders on my way from brokenness to restoration.

As brothers and sisters in Christ, may we look for people navigating detours and choose to be a bridge builder in their lives.

1. Express gratitude to God for providing detours that lead to new bridges, for the gift of grace, and the gift of friends.

2. Reflect on a time in your life when a bridge broke and God provided someone in your life to be a bridge builder on your journey to healing.

3. Write a note of gratitude to them. I’m writing mine today for a gift given 30 years ago.